Roy the Rooster

Well today bloggers I’ve been to the LAND FILL! I had to take the garbage over there because my incompetent brother… and forgetful me, we both forgot to set the garbage cans out by the road on Monday night and consequently my dad told us that “you’d better find a way to get rid of it… PRONTO.” So I made Ian pay me $9 and I took the trash to the Landfill. Now, for those of you who have never seen the landfill, or for that matter even heard of much less know what a landfill is: it is a big hill with crap in it. Basically it is where all of your trash goes to no matter who you have come pick it up. The county drops it all off there, most disposal companies don’t have their own dumps so they take it to The Wood County Landfill. The place is a mountain. It’s huge, and smelly. So, I drove up with my van, laden with garbage cans (also very smelly, making my van reek of rotting cabbage and coffee grounds). I drove up onto the scale and got weighed, then proceeded to drive over next to the PIT. That is where pathetic dweebs like myself go to chuck their garbage over the edge because they were too stupid to just drag it out to the road when they should have… even though it would only take 2 minutes to do so- STUPID STUPID STUPID! So anyway I got rid of it and returned to the scale and got weighed again and charged $9 by a smelly unshaven man who was too busy having a conversation with his coworker to notice that I had laid my money in the window counter. It was okay though, because I shouted loudly “excuse me sir! I need to pay for dumping my smelly banana peels now, and I need to go and puke over there in that patch of grass so could you please hurry it up?” Well he gave me a grin that only the Grim Reaper could give and said something that rhymes with “go tuck yourself in bed” and I was as good as gold!

So then I drove back, admiring the massive windmills that are almost complete. Yeah, that’s right Don Quixote: WINDMILLS. They’re being built right next to the landfill and their going to provide some of the future ‘clean energy’ for Northwest Ohio. They’re awesome, I love big things that have sharp edges to them and stand immovable against the sky, proclaiming the invincible will of man to dominate all of nature forever. I then went to work and loogied in a couple of salads of customers who’d been rude to me before snacking on croutons and making small talk with all of the female employees that Panera has. I’m not single anymore and more and more I feel this wonderful comfort around them like “haha, I’m invincible and YOU can’t even flirt with me now because I thought you were cool but not cool and in fact quite detestable but I will play your silly game and let you staple my shirt-OW!” Then they all started talking about things that girls can talk about when MEN AREN’T PRESENT, LIKE I WAS. So I scooted away and made some feeble attempts to wipe off the already clean counter before running into the back to have a few sips of a warm Dr. Pepper/Fruit Punch suicide. Mmmmmm. 🙂

~Joel

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